Protarded: being proactive towards seeking out and/or spending a significant amount of your free time doing things that have negative effect on your health and intelligence.

Just imagine your watching your life as a movie.  The camera is always on you (the main character).   That character keeps talking about success, struggles, relationships, job, money, etc… as the character develops the camera stays on you.  when you’re out, at work, at home, and everything between.  How many of us would be saying to the screen “this idiot is never gonna make it”  or are we rooting for them?

On the basic level, this could be playing “rock band” a couple hours a day… I’ve heard folks talk about this game like they’re actually making music.  hmm.  Protards would say that. Glorifying a game, that if they’d put half the time into learning an instrument, they could actually be in a rock band… then there’s substance abuse.  I know I know, it’s a disease, an escape, trauma, cool.  Just saying, I’ve realized that most of the weird, awkward, and relatively negative situations in our lives, starting in middle school could have been avoided if someone in the situation would have said “no” to drugs or alcohol.

Social interaction with substance is different, so don’t get all huffy, If this triggers you though… then that’s your liver making you angry and you may have a problem.  just saying.  I’m in the bay area, thus there’s a ton of cloaking abuse behind sophistication, spirituality, and just flat out making it expensive so it must not be bad.  I’m not one to place judgement on these past times due to many of the people for example in wine culture are very successful and kind.  Personally I have a rule… if it’s bad for me, it better be a really great version… and Don’t make it a lifestyle, make it a celebration.  there’s a difference.  If the new ager in you is speaking up from behind your third eye saying, “every moment should be a celebration”… your new ager is really just a protard spiteful kid looking for loopholes to justify their existence.  tell em to zip it and put the sparkles down.  If celebration needs inebriation, then maybe we’re not really celebrating anymore.   wasn’t it Postal Service that said “it’s not a party if it happens every night”

I don’t drink or “use”, I don’t play video games, but lately I’ve been working on being more aware when I’m being all Protarded.  Small things, like getting on the internet to update my website, or send out emails and next thing I know I’m looking at my guitar, or I’m down in the dojo, or I start writing another folk song, a short story, justifying my protarded behavior as “creating content” or “practicing my craft”.

As an artist I know that my “craft” is mainly hindered by my inner protard.  Distractions are distractions.  In my practice as an artist, there’s a moment when I have to admit that I’m working hard… too hard… and I’m working so hard because it’s a great way to avoid doing the actual work I should be doing.  Until I reach a certain point when I can hire someone to do the work I need to do…  the most daunting tasks in my life as a martial artist, musician, bodyworker are really small little time vacuums, shredding documents, taking pictures for the website, taking clothes to the donation bin… you know.. simple things that anyone can effortlessly do… now I understand cleaning, laundry, etc… these things usually have a “this ain’t so bad once you get started” vibe.  however, shredding junk credit card apps, and mountains of little pieces of paper, never satisfying.  pictures?  ah not my thing.  I just end up going down into the dojo then next thing I know I’m working out or laying on a foam roller.

I’d be yelling at the screen “just answer that email you protard!!! and you could be moving forward as an artist and a business”  as I watch myself doing pushups by my computer and looking up the “berry goody’s last dragon soundtrack” because I’ve never listened to that soundtrack in my own dojo before.  Then of course the song comes on… “when you got that Glow”  and I’ve let all my responsibilities fall by the wayside… now students are showing up, I’ve already worked out too much, now I have to train for another 8 hours, and poof… I’m over trained.. I proactively avoided being a better version of myself.  Yes… I practiced, I did something that many others may avoid, but erosion is real, I’m actually in this for my health and pursuit of success through good relationships with productive inspiring people.  I did nothing to fortify  that… silly protard…