Work out!!!  5 reasons you shouldn’t do so much yoga… Note, I just said work out, not Yoga. Which is not Sanskrit for exercise.

  1. Yoga hates your wrists, unless you do yin yoga, but if you “need” yin yoga, or have an aversion to effort, go do something more aggressive like weights or martial arts because you’re way to yin. The yang will balance you out… If you don’t feel like being aggressive, then do something even more aggressive, because you’re in too deep, probably cold, and close to being crushed by your own skin.  Go get em…
  2. You’ll probably go a little crazy.  You may have heard of kundalini syndrome.  Sure go for the awakening however, doing anything that’s all about “transcending” out of your body, as you try and navigate the rest of your life as a human, you’ll notice resistance and difficulty.  If you practice leaving your body and spiraling up into a transcendent state, remember you’re not living in a temple, or ashram, you might have to wait in line at the grocery store later.  If you are in a temple right now, why are you on a computer?  So, if you practice kundalini, ashtanga, iyengar, or anything that gets you transcending, or your “energy” lifting.  Go farm or get ahold of some weights, study Tantra, or a taoist practice.  They don’t deny that we’re human. Guys, I promise you, if you continue to transcend, your girlfriends will get really sexy, but a little crazy.  Girls, your guys will get really supple and sensitive, might start listening, however, we might want to go “Poly” within a few months, because life’s all about the experience now that my roots have floated away.   Side note:  how do you know when they’re leaving the earth?   It’s in the voice, you know… The yoga voice, same goes with knowing if your friends have left their bodies with other things too, the pot voice, the scratchy cocaine voice, the slurry alcohol voice, the voice is a good start.
  3. You’re going to live in a delusion that buying things means your spiritual, and/or an environmentalist. We all know that it really doesn’t mean that, but we’re still not doing it.  Conscious buying habits are important so It’s good we’re at least trying to move in a positive direction.
  4. When empowerment shows up and we become strong men and women living in line with our values, we’ll just look past the fact that we don’t want to support Rush Limbaugh, or FOX because they’re  “right wing bastards”, but Bikram (a womanizing megalomaniac) and lululemon  (just another big corporation), are ok to support because they make your butts look good. Rush doesn’t make your butt look good thus bad.
  5. You should pull more… Yoga is a lot of pushing and bending forward, “yes but I’m a teacher that focuses more on the heart”… (Shh, see #2).  Unless we have a life that requires us to pull and squat, all that pushing and forward bending is just creating assless individuals with overdeveloped triceps and front deltoids… So your butt looks ok in those pants now, until it starts going away.  Squat, kick backwards, deadlift, build those hamstrings and biceps a little, so we can have a structure that should be opened up.  We need something to work with.  If we live an academic or “office” life, or perhaps some sort of career that isn’t all about labor, then opening our joints might seem cool, but really we should be working on expanding.  It takes work to expand, we need structure and foundation first, lets build that, then open from a place of strength.  Expansion takes work, but it’s worth it, and the foundation is sound.

So come practice with us… check out our schedule